The Ugly F Word
Hi friends! It’s #MarriageModay !
If you’re wondering what this is all about, check out my first Marriage Monday post, which you can find on blog.
Marriage is truly so incredible. I mean, it’s two people who know each other unlike anyone else. …..Which sometimes isn’t always pretty. In marriage, you’re dealing with another flawed human being, just like yourself. Who also, more often than not, tends to be naturally selfish. Yep, marriage is incredible.
People think of it as such an ugly word, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be. Naturally, you have probably already recognized all of your spouses flaws. And their flaws can sometimes be rather annoying. However, I hate to be the bearer of bad news – but your flaws are rather annoying, too.
But even still, they choose you everyday and you choose them!
In the first couple months of my marriage, my husband’s flaws drove me insane. (I mean really, how hard is it to close the shower curtain when you step out of the shower?!) I spent so much time repeatedly nagging about this small flaw, that I hadn’t even recognized that I, too, had a similar flaw.
One particular night, Kris showered, walked out of the bathroom, and prepared to lay down for bed. Dramatically, I slid the shower curtain closed, quickly following the sound of metals scraping with a loud “mutter”. I probably continued my fit by stomping down the stairs only to realize that the entry way, that had been previously covered with my shoes, had been organized. It immediately dawned on me that I constantly leave my shoes piled by the front door weekly. And every week, my saint of a husband, picks them up and puts them in our room without ever saying a word.
FLAWS. Yep, I have them too. And they are truly, rather annoying. But it is so easy to become so fixated on their flaws instead of our very own. (I mean really, it is so much easier recognizing someone else’s flaws before noticing your own) While I try to do better with my annoying habits/flaws, I realized that focusing on fixing mine instead of focusing on his, has bettered us both. Since my realization of how annoying my own flaws are, I haven’t mentioned the shower curtain again (though it still annoys me). And just the other night after he showered, I heard him shut the shower curtain – which reminded me that I couldn’t remember the last time I got annoyed that he left it open! Whether this is because I stopped dwelling on it being left opened, or because he started shutting it – I stopped letting it get to me. Me not grumbling has clearly had a bigger impact on him vs my daily nagging about a shower curtain! (I get it, my complaint was about something small, but I mean the bathroom looks so much better with the shower curtain shut!)
My real-life example may seem incredibly silly (and it was) but my point is that we are so quick to notice and get annoyed by others flaws. But if you focus on bettering your own flaws, you won’t be so focused on theirs. And hopefully, in turn, they do the same. Because honestly, there is something powerful about loving someone, flaws and all ♥
So, I will leave you with this, is shutting the shower curtain or putting his clothes that he has sitting next to the hamper, in the hamper, or [insert the annoying thing your spouse does here] worth a grumble?
I would love to hear about the silly flaw that annoys you, or your flaw that you know can be annoying!
Very well put KaYla! After 30 years of marriaGe i too am still incredibly annoyed by CerTain “flaws” my husband possesses, however if we were to dwell on those, the days, weeks, and years would have been much more diFficult. I Try to continue to not “sweat the small stuff” and focus on the positive. Great blog! Happy Monday!