The First 25 Years are the Hardest | Marriage Monday | Kayla Knies Photography

The First 25 Years are the Hardest

Kris and I married four years ago and planned our wedding five years ago when things were so different than today. Five years ago doesn’t seem like too long ago, but all this beautiful greenery, blush colors, and simple – yet beautiful – details were not like they were when we planned our wedding. Otherwise, I would have been wearing a flower crown holding a colorful, greenery bouquet and would have DEFINITELY opted for a first look. 

Pinterest did come in handy and gave us the idea to do “Letters for different anniversaries”. So we had cards that our guests could write and tell us the anniversary to open it for, (However, we haven’t opened any up past the first year – so we should probably get on that!) The ones we did open were mainly funny, some were sweet, but Kris’ Grandmother’s letter was the one I haven’t forgotten. 

A little back story, Kris’ grandparents have been married for 56 years. They raised four of their own children, two of their grandchildren, and have played an incredibly vital role in all of their grandchildren and great-grandchildren’s lives. His Papa will help anyone and everyone, especially when it comes to his family and his grandma definitely prays for each and every one of her children, also helping when and where she can. There are so many things that the two of them have overcome together which is why her letter to us was so fitting and also a little comical. 

“The first 25 years are the hardest. It gets easier from there.” Those were the words she wrote – and while we are still 21 years away from 25 years… I certainly find those words believable. In 25 years, you build an entire life together. You buy/build your home, start a family, raise a family, deal with death of animals, death of grandparents, possibly death of parents in that time, watch your adult children choose their own paths in life, and eventually become grandparents. So much happens in 25 years with so many new milestones. Thinking of the several different milestones (some happy – some difficult) it is no wonder why so many give up on their marriage when something new happens that isn’t so easy. 

I can’t speak for his grandparents, but I can assume that there were times that felt like throwing in the towel would have been easier. But they kept on going. For the last several years, they have spent their days watching jeopardy together and making jam. Papa loves making pies and watching football. Grandma loves and volunteering at the historical society. Papa constantly says things to make Grandma yell, “Charles!!” And more than anything else, they love love love their grand-babies. 

They make it known that they aren’t perfect and that they have hit rough patches in their lifetime together, but a marriage after all these years, is one of the most beautiful things in life. And I am honored to be an added grand-baby to the list!

So, for those who haven’t made it to the 25 year mark yet, just remember – you are in the hardest years right now. Learn to work together and enjoy every new milestone. 

With love,


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