My Husband has Low Expectations of Me| Marriage Monday | Kayla Knies Photography

My husband has low expectations of me

Weird statement, right? I thought so too the day that Kris told me this. I wasn’t sure how to take it and at first I immediately thought negatively of it. But, no worries, Kris quickly reassured me that it was actually the greatest thing we could ever implement in our marriage…

Now, I definitely do not fit the mold of a “house wife”. I am actually quite the opposite in many aspects of what a typical house wife should look like. And thankfully, Kris knew this prior to marrying me and chose to do so anyway. Lol! I do not like a messy house and try to keep up with it for the most part. But if I could get by without ever having to do laundry or cook ever again…life would be that much better. Thanks to the Husb, I rarely ever do laundry – but unless it’s nice enough to grill, I am the one cooking.

Due to hating cooking so much, we love going out to eat. But our new budget plan forces me to make dinner much more, unfortunately. Typically, my dinners consist of crockpot meals,  grilled chicken, or spaghetti. But sometimes I forget to grocery shop (another thing Im not a fan of doing – shout out to instacart) and am often left with very few options last minute. (Stay with me, I’m getting somewhere)

A few months ago, we got home after a busy day and I told Kris I was going to make dinner. Upon looking in the cabinets and fridge a few times… dinner that night happened to be a toasted peanut butter and honey banana sandwich. (I told you I wasn’t a good house wife.) I thought for sure Kris was going to jokingly complain, or at least laugh at me – but instead he, with all seriousness, said “Thank you for making dinner!” I started laughing and asked why he just thanked me. I knew he was being genuine but I truly did not understand why… considering I just fed him a kids meal. This was when he responded with, “I am still thankful you made this for me. I have low expectations of you…” (Insert here my face of confusion with possible attitude beginning to rise) He continued with, “Having low expectations means that I can’t be disappointed by expecting too much and I remain thankful for the small things.”

I’m still not sure about the way that statement is worded, as “low expectations” has always had a negative connotation. But what I do know, is that my husband always has so much grace for me. He rarely ever gets upset with me and he never expects more than I can give. I try to implement the same thought process, but Jesus is still working on that part of me. Lol. And my incredible husband has grace for that, too. 

It is so easy to expect so much out of someone. There are expectations that society puts on a husband and wife (as well as expectations that spouses place on one another). And when someone starts lacking in a certain department, it is so easy to get annoyed and irritated, whether inwardly or outwardly. I find myself easily starting lists inwardly on things Kris should or shouldn’t be doing, especially before the “low expectation” conversation. Instead of getting angry or griping about something, I try my hardest to just pick up where the slack is on his part at times, just like I know he is picking up the slack on my part at times. And I happen to be a much happier person when I focus on being more thankful for the things he does rather than complaintive about the things I want him to do that he may not be doing. 

What do think about having low expectations for your spouse? Do you agree that more often than not, you may be getting upset with your spouse because you’re placing too high of expectations that they can’t always reach?

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