Hi friends! It’s #MarriageModay !
If you’re wondering what this is all about, check out my first Marriage Monday post which you can find on blog.
Marriage is truly so incredible. I mean, it’s two people who know each other unlike anyone else knows them. They know amazing things no one else sees, and also their flaws.
People think of it as such an ugly word, but it doesn’t have to be. Most flaws are only seen by a spouse because you live together, know all about one another, sleep next to each other, possibly pick up after one another, and just do life together. Most flaws are only seen by someone very close to you and your spouse sees them all.
But they still choose you everyday and you choose them!
Some flaws can change over time, some you pray change, and some just stick for life.
In the first couple months of my marriage, my husband’s flaws drove me insane. (I mean really how hard is it to close the shower curtain when you step out of the shower?!) I spent so much time being annoyed at his small flaws and nagging about them repeatedly, that I was forgetting about my flaws that drove him crazy that he was being silent about!
One night I was annoyed after closing the shower curtain and complaining about it, I walked downstairs and saw my shoes cleaned up. I then realized that I leave my shoes piling by the front door until Kris picks them up and puts them in our room. And that he asks me not to use his one comb, but it happens to always be the one handy when I need it (because I always lose mine), and then my hair is weaved in it and of course I always forget to remove my hair (which is why he doesn’t want me using it) so he doesn’t see I used it.
And then it hit me. I have annoying flaws and habits that I rarely hear him complain about. So is shutting the shower curtain or putting his clothes that he has sitting next to the hamper, in the hamper, worth a grumble?
While I try to do better with my annoying habits/flaws, I realized focusing on fixing mine instead of focusing on his has bettered us both. I haven’t mentioned the shower curtain again (though it still annoys me). However, the other night after he showered, I heard him shut it and realized I couldn’t remember the last time I got annoyed that he didn’t shut it. Whether it is because he has been shutting it or because I have been without dwelling on it, regardless I couldn’t remember. Me not grumbling has clearly made him want to remember instead of being annoyed I won’t shut up about the curtain! (I get it, my complaint was about something small, but I mean the bathroom looks so much better with the shower curtain shut!)
So, my point is we often see flaws and get annoyed by flaws. But if you find your flaws, focus on your own flaws and changing them, you wont be so focused on theirs. And they may even begin to see you’re changing yours (or trying) and that will speak more than a constant nag.
The reason I have begun to love flaws is because it can push you to do better and be patient. And something is powerful about loving someone, flaws and all ♥