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As Long as You Keep Providing the Internet, I’ll Keep Paying | Marriage Monday | Kayla Knies Photography

As long as you keep providing the internet, Ill keep paying

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So who here looks forward to the days you have to call Comcast because they raised your bill, yet again, or graciously added on additional services you never once asked for, yet you are paying for?

I would assume that we all dread making that phone call. Because we ALL know that calling Comcast is NOT just a few minute conversation. You’re looking at a minimum of an hour wasted. And if anyone out there enjoys these calls, I will gladly let you make all of my future phone calls to them. 

I can almost predict the very verbiage they’re going to use. “Im sorry, but that deal you signed up for has since passed. But now, for only XX more dollars, we will give you this deal and include this “free” added on service.” Since I have called annually for the last 5 years, I now know the lingo and have stopped wasting as much time as I used to. Now when I call after they have raised my bill and hear all about the new, more expensive, “deal” they’re willing to offer, I just say, “I know you’re supposed to give me this huge spiel about this added feature for a different price, but can you just transfer me to the person above you so they can just give me the price I had before?” Because this is what happens every time I call: They say they cant do anything for me. I ask to cancel. They transfer me to a person who can do exactly what I spent the first hour of the conversation asking. (Insert eye-roll) 

Let’s imagine a scenario real quick. 

What if Comcast told me that they needed me to keep their services still, but they currently could not provide me with internet any longer. But… that contract price hasn’t changed. On my end, everything needs to stay the same. They just will be lacking on their end for a bit. 

I know what you’re all thinking. Oh heck no. You promised me something and since you’re no longer able to hold up your end of the agreement, I am out. See ya!

Understandable. I’d be out too. 

But let’s relate this to marriage for a minute. You all know the quote – “Marriage isn’t always 50/50. Some days your partner will struggle. You suck it up and pick up that 80/20 because they need you.”

“But they promised me 50/50” “Their vows said that they would always keep the house clean while I spent my days at work” “They vowed to always respect me. To encourage me. To be always honest with me” 

What happens in a marriage when one can no longer hold up their end of the vows for a period of time? What if the 80/20 lasts longer than a day? What if it is a month? A year??? Marriage isn’t like calling Comcast. The fix to your issues is not just an (hour long) call away. What happens when they can no longer provide what you have expected them to provide?

What happens when there is a job loss? Post-partum depression? Mid-life crisis? Affairs…?

Take a minute. How do you view your marriage? Do you view your marriage covenant like a contract with Comcast? Are you only willing to stick with them as long as they hold up their end of the agreement?

Because many do. And while marriage is one of the most beautiful things in the world… Gosh, it can be so darn ugly. You choose to spend your days, moments, and every single night with the same person for the rest of your life. And in life, there are bad times and good times. And throughout an entire lifespan, there are so many changes. And there are going to be moments that get really, really ugly. 

To make it clear, I am not talking about a constant 80/20 mindset. Because if your cup is constantly being emptied and never filled, that isn’t a good place to be for you. But, during the time that your spouse is needing you to be that 80…just keep in mind the times that they had to be that 80 for you. 

Kris and I have been together for 10 years this year. And gosh, there have been so many times that each of us had to step up and be that 80 while the other could only give 20. And we don’t even have kids to add to the mix yet!!

So here lies the difference between your Comcast contract and your marriage covenant. Your relationship with Comcast is solely conditional. You are only willing to pay as long as Comcast is giving you the service you are paying for. And Comcast will only give you that service if you continue paying for it. But with marriage, it has to be unconditional. It has to be a love that loves even when they don’t deserve it or haven’t done a thing to earn it. If your love for your spouse is only there when they do what they are supposed to be doing…that means your love for them is conditional. And it looks a lot more like a Comcast contract than the vows that said “for better or for worse”.

Those times that I have had to be the 80 was so incredibly difficult. But I will forever be so thankful for the many times that Kris had to be my 80. 

I’ll end with this – take time this week to think about your marriage or really any relationship. Is it based on conditionality like a Comcast contract? Or is the understanding of loving unconditionally, evident? 
— 
With Love, Kayla 

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