Today’s post is about a book I URGE you to buy and read if you haven’t already! It doesn’t matter if you are married, dating, or single – This book is a game changer.
FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES BY GARY CHAPMAN
If you have booked me for your wedding in the past two years, then you received this book as a gift from me in your thank you box. That is how much I love it! Throughout this book, it refers to a “love bank” and how we all have them. (I know it may sound cheesy, but it really isn’t!) Gary Chapman says that when our love bank is empty, we are unhappy, more irritable, and just simply feeling unloved. When it is full, we are happy, feeling loved, with a better moods and attitude. Gary Chapman states how there are five love languages and each person as a primary love language.
The five primary love languages are:
Acts of Service
Words of Affirmation
The book gives in detail about each love language and at the end of the book there is a test for you and your spouse to individually take. This reveals what makes you feel most loved out of those five love languages.
I love the concept of this. Naturally, you love someone the way you want to be loved. If you feel loved by receiving gifts, then more than likely, you’re a great gift-giver! But this is where hidden issues begin. What if your spouse feels loved by words of affirmation, but you’re just constantly buying gifts for them!?
Is this making sense yet? I can assure you that Gary Chapman does a much better job explaining this, so you really need to read it for yourself. When Kris and I were engaged, several couples mentioned this book and we were so glad that we read it!
Both mine and Kris’ test results ended up being quality time. Which makes things pretty simple, because that just means we feel most loved by being around one another. However, we had just slight differences. I want quality time by just being together, talking, cuddling, playing a game, etc. Kris calls this “just being” – and he claims he doesn’t know how to “just be”. Lol. But he has gotten pretty good at it over the years.
Now, for Kris – his quality time is doing. He wants to go somewhere, do something, hang with people, etc. And as long as I am with him, doing those things, his love tank is full. So we try our hardest to make sure that we are doing a mixture of both “being” and “doing”. But we definitely have realized that weekend getaways are the best mixture and we try to do them quite often!
Now, go buy the book, take the test, and tell me if your results were surprising or not!